Let’s face it mama, If you’re anything like me, you’re carrying around a lot of weight on your shoulders.
Maybe this is old baggage from childhood or previous relationships, or maybe it’s the extra load from the standards you place on yourself. Regardless of where it comes from, walking around with extra burdens can make us feel pretty darn drained.
And on top of our own junk, we can’t forget about the ways in which we cater to others. Blame socialization, but as women, we tend to accept any and all responsibilities for those around us. It is our imposed duty to serve others until we cannot move under the heft of everyone else's requirements.
When we feel weighed down, it’s as if we have little gremlins running around in our day-to-day lives. And the sole purpose of these gremlins is to steal our thunder, our excitement, and our power. For when we shoulder the weight of the world, we forget to care for ourselves.
Though it may seem easy to blame others for our subservient roles (our parents, ex-lovers, our children, our partners), the punch-you-in-the-face truth is that the only people who put us in these situations are ourselves.
Our shitty boundaries, our lack of confidence, our inability to speak up. It is a combination of all of these things that leave us powerless at the end of the day.
So with this post, I bring you five things you must let go of in order to take back you power.
Each lesson comes with a mini-challenge you can implement right away to see a difference in your level of personal empowerment. Make sure to read to the end for an opportunity to participate in my favorite challenge of all.
1. Let Go of Perfection
As women we're constantly bombarded by the message of having it all. The role models we're "provided with" on TV all seem to be on top of their game no matter how many things they're balancing.
These women wear their White Hats and power suits while rocking the business world, go home and be supermommy, then knock their husband's socks off at the end of the night.
It's an unfair portrayal of a nonexistent world and us real women are the ones who suffer for it when we can't measure up.
So, it's time to set aside this bogus notion of perfection. Instead, let's strive to thrive. Let's take each day at a time and aim for small victories.
**mini-challenge: take a good look at what your personal version of perfection might be. Does this mean putting non-yoga pants type clothes on every day? Does this mean spending a half-hour of uninterrupted time with your spouse? Whatever perfection looks like to you try to incorporate more of that into your daily life.
2. Let Go of Other's Opinions
It is so easy to become bogged down by all the messages of "should" we receive. A good wife should... A good mom should... A good woman should.....
In reality, the only opinions that matter are yours (and those of your spouse and children, if you want to count them). Your little family is where it's at. And quite frankly, the only place you have a smidgen of influence.
So ignore your extended family's parenting advice. Ignore the woman in book club telling you how your marriage is supposed to be. Ignore the ideas that you must come last in order to have a happy family. Ignore TV, movies, Facebook or any other media network that is spreading false portrayals of the perfect woman.
Spend some time finding your truth. What is your core message and how is it that you want to be? Once you find this, OWN IT.
You are powerful and you can do anything you put your mind to...
***mini-challenge: get out a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. In one, write down 10 “shouldn't” messages you receive from the outside world. In the other, reframe the message as something positive and something that comes from within you.
3. Let Go of the Idea that You're Not Enough
Someday, some way we got the idea that we're not enough. That we have to be so much more, do so much more than we already are in order to be good enough.
I challenge you to look at who you are trying to be better than yourself for. Are you honestly trying to make improvements on yourself to better match your truth?
If so, go for it lady!
Find the things you want to work on and make a plan to tackle them.But, if this desire stems from an outside source: your family, your spouse, your coworkers, your friends, your frenemies.... let it go.
You matter. Your experiences, your walk through life, your story all matter. And all are good enough.
***mini-challenge: think about the top five accomplishments you did all on your own without any help. No matter how big or how small, there are sure to be times where you made something happen all on your own. This is proof that you are enough.
4. Let Go of Wishing and Hoping
If you're anything like me, there are a few things you want to improve for yourself. Maybe its a body image issue or a habit you're looking to break.
How awesome for you!!
You have the ability to be honest with yourself and acknowledge when something isn't working.
Again, so long as this desire stems from your core and isn't influenced by anyone else, I say go for it. But keep in mind, nothing changes with wishing and hoping. There certainly is power behind our intentions and it's a great thing to put our desires into the universe to be heard and acted upon.
The key, though, is to act. There is nothing accidental about success. Rather, it is the result of strategic and intentional planning. These actions must be taken everyday.
Try finding an accountability partner or another way of motivating yourself.
***mini-challenge: write down a dream of yours and turn it into a goal. Write out a specific accomplishment, how you will measure it, steps to make it attainable, make sure it’s realistic, and set a timeframe. You have now turned wishful thinking into an action plan.
5. Let Go of Excuses
Find power in yourself.
If you keep buying into the messages you hear about "shoulds" or those from the media, you'll never take ownership. Buying into these messages is limiting your beliefs and keeping you trapped and stagnant.
NOTHING needs to get in the way of what you want.
If you want to be a more present mommy, find a way to do it. If you want more time for your marriage, find a way to do it. If you want to better yourself, find a way to do it.
But know you're never alone.
You've taken a great first step in joining this community.
*** mini-challenge: Make the commitment and sign up for the FREE 14-lesson #MORETHANMOM Challenge. You’ll get specific lessons on attaining a mom-first mindset and creating strategies to make changes in your life. Plus, there’s a private Facebook group full of similar moms all looking to improve and put themselves first.
The challenge is self-paced so you can work through the lessons on your own time. But, I urge you not to delay. Just sign up with the form below!
Take action and follow through. I can’t wait to take this journey with you.